You Must Be Joking! Real Examples from Real Resumes

 

In the spirit of April Fool’s Day,  here are some real life examples of things some misinformed (and sorry to say, foolish) job seekers ACTUALLY WROTE ON THEIR RESUMES.

Compliments of my recruiter friend (and she works for a very large and prestigious international firm hiring mid-level to senior professionals, not high school students to flip burgers and McDonalds, just so we’re clear!)

balloonanimals

They’d be funny if they weren’t real examples of WHAT NOT TO DO:

“Challenged personal endurance and will power by driving from Atlanta to Los Angeles in under 72 hours”

“Golds Gym Member since 2006”

“Thinks being a Cubs fan is a life lesson in being hopelessly positive when there is no hope.” (NOTE: weeelllll, being from Chicago myself, I can almost see why this person really thinks this is a true testament to his positive character!)  😀

“Hobbies include crabbing, traveling, basketball and poker”

“Hunting – Bow Hunting Big Game / Duck / Goose / Dove / Quail” (sorry, my friend, you just shot a hole in your chances at this job, too — unless you’re applying to Field & Stream, maybe)

“I know how to distinguish work time from play time”

“R e f e r e n c e s: So distinguished of scholars & professionals available, quid pro quo.” (ah, can you say ETHICS, anyone?)

“Enjoys golf (but not that good at it), softball (much better than at golf), jogging, traveling, and dining out”  (NOTE:  to be fair, I once worked for a resume writer as a contractor for C-level (CEO, COO, executive level folks) that did include the golf thing, although usually in the cover letter if he did, because it’s such a popular networking and business entertainment activitiy for corporate leaders . . . although saying you aren’t good at it in that case might just HURT your hiring chances!  *I* personally would not do or recommend it — that can be either assumed by most in those higher positions, or mentioned in an interview)

Super-anal organizational skills (no further comment needed!)  🙁

 

 

And just for fun in preparation for April Fool’s Day, here’s “Best Office Pranks” from Zappos to inspire you:

(Check out the story of their super cool, social responsible company and Zappos corporate culture btw! )

My favorites from the video are confetti from the door and the cup with the BBs, but they’re all good!

Just for fun, do you have any April Fool’s related workplace joke stories to share?  Let’s hear ’em in Comments!  We need more ideas!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This blog is kept spam free by WP-SpamFree.